A Thousand Years
by Knights-Honour
Summary: Outside, the rain pounded against the window pane, but compared to his state of mind before Kate had shown up at his door, Castle now found something poetic in it. The chaos of the storm contrasting starkly against the quiet peace that they'd finally managed to find within one another.


**Title:** A Thousand Years  
**Pairing:** Caskett (Rick Castle & Kate Beckett)

**Author:** Knights-Honour  
**Summary:**

Outside, the rain pounded against the window pane, but compared to his state of mind before Kate had shown up at his door, Castle now found something poetic in it. The chaos of the storm contrasting starkly against the quiet peace that they'd finally managed to find within one another.

**Spoilers: **Ep 423'Always' of Castle if you haven't seen it. (But what truly OCD'd Castillion hasn't?)

**Disclaimer:** Castle universe and characters © ABC  
Any character you haven't heard of © me

**Author's Notes:**

I know there's probably a million of these port-Always fics out there at this point, but I couldn't resist giving my take on what happened after the fade to black for our favorite couple.

I also need to say that I've gone a little AU with some of Castle actions at the start as he attempts to purge Beckett from his life until she shows up at his doorstep.

Thanks go to my wonderful Beta, Blueglaceon,

"**I Just Want You"**

"_You're sure you'll be okay?_" Alexis' worried voice sounded from the phone as Richard Castle made his way through the apartment to his study, tenderly cradling his child's graduation tassel in his hand.

Outside a violent thunderstorm raged, and the weather matched the writer's current mood perfectly.

"I'll be fine," Castle assured his daughter. "I've got a thousand cable channels; I've got my X-Box. You have fun! And I won't worry about you until midday tomorrow."

"_I'll be home at nine,_" the teen instantly replied. "_And Dad? If you're not busy at the precinct tomorrow, could we maybe do a Star Wars marathon? Movies, games and all that jazz?_"

Castle paused for a second. With all the excitement surrounding her graduation, he'd not told Alexis yet that his time at the 12th was finished. But he would.

Once she got home tomorrow.

"_Dad?_"

"A good idea that is, young Padawan," Castle responded in his best Yoda impersonation, hoping to cover his hesitation. "Do it, we will. At nine, your training begins."

"_Love you, Dad._"

"I love you, too." Smiling to himself, the author ended the call placing it on his desk before turning to hang the golden tassel on the nearby lamp, displaying it with loving care.

His baby girl was all grown up, about to step out into the big wild world. How time had flown. '_It seemed like only yesterday…_' he began wistfully in his mind before shaking his head at how cliché he was being.

The chiming ring of his iPhone pulled him from his thoughts and back into reality as he picked it up to answer.

But when he saw the caller ID, Kate Beckett, he stopped himself from answering and set his jaw.

~_You call to me, and I fall at your feet  
How could anyone ask for more?  
And our time apart, like knives in my heart  
How could anyone ask for more?_~

Hitting ignore to block the call, he activated the phone and accessed his phonebook, deleting the detective's contact details from the device before setting it back down on the table.

~_But if there's a pill to help me forget,  
God knows I haven't found it yet  
But I'm dying to, God I'm trying to~_

Now there was just one more loose string to tie up as he turned to his electronic murder board. Picking up the remote, he turned the screen on and was met by the familiar picture of a smiling Beckett.

_~'Cause trying not to love you, only goes so far  
And trying not to need you, is tearing me apart  
Can't see the silver lining, from down here on the floor  
And I just keep on trying, but I don't know what for  
'Cause trying not to love you  
Only makes me love you more  
Only makes me love you more~  
_

With a grim expression, the writer approached the picture and tapped it once with his finger, opening Johanna Beckett's murder file. How many sleepless nights had he sat here, desperately trying to solve it, he idly wondered to himself as the file spread outwards revealing all the facts that they'd dug up about the case. So that Beckett could finally have closure to the thing that had driven her for so long, and so that they might finally have a chance at pursing a relationship once it was put to rest?

A future that, as of yesterday, would never happen.

~_And this kind of pain, only time takes away  
That's why it's harder to let you go (That's why it's harder to let you go)  
And nothing I can do, without thinking of you  
That's why it's harder to let you go (That's why it's harder to let you go)~  
_

Once he was finished writing _**Frozen Heat**_, his three book contract with Black Pawn would be fulfilled and he would be able to lay Nikki Heat to rest. Be able move on to something else, leaving Beckett behind him once and for all. Setting his jaw at the thought, Castle glanced at the photo of her one last time before he manipulated the file's icon into the trashcan, deleting it, and her, from his hard-drive and his life.

'_I wash my hands of you._' But he knew that, even as he thought those words, it would never be that easy. Kate Beckett wasn't a woman easily forgotten.

_~But if there's a pill to help me forget,  
God knows I haven't found it yet  
But I'm dying to, God I'm trying to_~

A knock at the front door drew his attention then, and he left his office to answer it.

~_'Cause trying not to love you, only goes so far  
Trying not to need you, is tearing me apart  
Can't see the silver lining, from down here on the floor  
And I just keep on trying, but I don't know what for  
'Cause trying not to love you  
Only makes me love you more_~

What little civility he had mustered with all that had occurred quickly left him when he saw who was on the other side; a rain soaked and slightly shivering Beckett.

His face hardened, his apartment briefly illuminated by lightning, as a clap of thunder echoed through the Loft and Castle slammed his own walls into place to protect his bruised and broken heart, though a small part of him wondered what had happened to her for her to be so bedraggled. His pride quickly quashed the thought.

"What do you want, Detective?" he bit out.

~_So I sit here divided, just talking to myself  
Was it something that I did?  
Was there somebody else?  
When a voice from behind me, that was fighting back tears  
Sat right down beside me, whispered right in my ear  
Said, I've been dying to tell you_~

Beckett winced a little at that.

Castle hadn't called her by rank alone in a long time, not since the very beginning of their partnership, before they had become friends and eventually come to care about each other. And it was all the evidence the former-homicide detective needed to tell her that her actions had hurt him deeply.

"You," she breathed as she reached for him, her lips seeking his for a needy kiss.

The unexpected forwardness from his muse caught him by surprise, and Castle found himself floundering, unsure of how to react. But as quickly as the kiss had started, it was over and she drew back, resting her forehead on his as her hands gripped his shoulders

~_That trying not to love you, only went so far  
Trying not to need you, was tearing me apart  
Now I see the silver lining, from what we're fighting for  
We just keep on trying, we could be much more  
'Cause trying not to love you  
Oh, yeah, trying not to love you  
Only makes me love you more  
Only makes me love you more_~

"I'm so sorry, Castle," she whispered, apologizing for not listening to him, for treating him the way that she had. For everything. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

And then she was kissing him again, her hands cupping his jaw.

Castle remained unmoved.

A month ago, he wouldn't have hesitated to react to her advances if she'd shown any interest in him.

But now?

Now he'd been burned one too many times to willingly stick his hand back in the fire without a damn good reason for doing so. And with that thought in mind, the writer grasped her wrists, breaking the kiss and forcing her back to create a little distance between them.

"What happened?" he questioned, though his voice and features softened with the question.

"He got away and I didn't care," she told him earnestly. "I almost died and all I could think about was you. I just want you," she finished, pleadingly, making another move to kiss him, but with him still holding her wrists, she wasn't able to get closer than a brief graze of his lips.

~_Heart beats fast  
Colors and promises  
How to be brave  
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall  
But watching you stand alone  
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow~_

Castle remained stock still, as if in a trance, not responding to her plea, physical or verbal, and pulling back slightly she began to fret. Had her impending death fuelled epiphany come too late, she wondered. Had she screwed this up so badly that now he wasn't even willing to give her a chance to fix the mess that she'd created?

_~One step closer_~

Desperate for some form of connection with him, she reached out with the fingers of her right hand to touch his cheek. She felt her heart start to beat again when Castle dipped his head ever-so-slightly to further the contact between them.

~_I have died everyday waiting for you  
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you  
For a thousand years  
I'll love you for a thousand more_~

And then, as a second clap of thunder echoed around them, he exploded into action, pushing her back against the door, slamming it closed behind them. But neither of them cared about anything but each other, their lips and hands desperately moving in a flurry of motion as they sought to claim this thing that had eluded them both for so long.

~_Time stands still  
Beauty in all she is  
I will be brave  
I will not let anything take away  
What's standing in front of me  
Every breath  
Every hour has come to this_~

As Castle began to leave a blaze of kisses down her throat, Beckett felt her legs begin to give way and she began to slip downwards before her beau caught her, using his body to stop her and hoist her back up the door, his lips pressing against her sternum as he did so. When she was once again steady on her feet, he pulled away.

~_One step closer_~

Only to realize, with some relevance, where he'd been unknowingly caressing.

~_I have died everyday waiting for you  
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you  
For a thousand years  
I love you for a thousand more_~

With trebling hands, he undid the top button of her shirt, exposing her black lace clad breasts to his gaze. And there, resting in the valley between her luscious mounds, was the marker of her brush with death a year before that had almost taken her from the world. As he drew back to look at the blemish, emotions flickering across his face, Beckett claimed one of his hands with her own. Gently pressing his hand against the mark as if to say '_It's okay, I'm here. I'm here and I'm yours,_' she raised her other hand to caress his jaw and kiss him again, slowly and deeply, their initial frenzy of action dissipating and giving way to a much more gentler, savouring pace.

~_And all along I believed I would find you  
Time has brought your heart to me  
I have loved you for a thousand years  
I'll love you for a thousand more_~

After a series of waxing kisses, the pair drew apart and a soft smile graced Beckett's features, as she and her partner gazed at each other.

~_One step closer  
One step closer_~

A few moments passed between them before Beckett slid a hand down Castle's arm, her fingers seeking the writer's. When she arrived at her destination, she intertwined her digits with his as she pushed off of the door and skirted around him and moved deeper into the Loft, slightly worry her bottom lip with her teeth as she waited to see if he would follow her lead or not.

~_I have died everyday waiting for you  
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you  
For a thousand years  
I'll love you for a thousand more_~

He did so without any hesitation.

**TBC…**

**Songs Used:**

"Trying Not To Love You" by Nikelback

"A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri


End file.
